RIP Alex the Honking Bird

It’s never easy to write a eulogy but this one is especially difficult. On April 26, 2021, the world learned that Alex the Honking Bird had passed away. For those of you who don’t know, Alex was a cockatiel and a YouTube star whose claim to fame was his distinct ‘honk’ which he would use to greet various inanimate objects like plush toys, kitchen utensils, toasters, musical instruments, and many other items. He was a natural star, featured in funny home videos and delightful parodies such as Honk Wars (Star Wars), Honky Potter (Harry Potter), The Haunting of Honk Manor and Twin Beaks. (Yes, a Twin Peaks parody with cockatiels. And yes, it is as good as it sounds.)

Alex became a big part of my life. I tuned in regularly to his channel. When I was sad or feeling down, I found his videos uplifting. Aside from pure entertainment, he also gave inspirational guidance. Did I mention his listed profession was ‘motivational speaker?’ So often I needed his encouragement, to hear that it’s “ok not to be ok” or to “keep a honk in my heart.” For years I turned to Alex for both smiles and enlightenment. I learned a lot from watching him, like how much he loved his human mom Annika, and his son Dominic, another grey cockatiel. He had a wife named Tina, a pearl cockatiel who was Dominic’s mom who sadly passed away in 2016. He loved veggie muffins and thunderstorms. He had a close friendship with a shiny toaster that regrettably had to be replaced with a new one. Eventually, he was able to reconcile with its departure and say goodbye. Alex was a deep and complex bird with a great deal of love to give.

Back in 2019, Alex suffered from kidney failure. At the time, his mom’s quick action to get him veterinary treatment saved his life. Sadly, the physical trauma ultimately took its toll. Alex was almost 24 years old when he died. Not bad for a bird whose lifespan is listed anywhere from 10 to 25 years. Even so, his death hit me hard. When I heard that he had passed away, my heart broke. Every day since, I’ve cried, realizing how much he meant to me. I miss him like he was my own bird, partly because I felt I knew him but also because his death ripped the scabs off of wounds left by losing birds of my own. Those wounds, some over 20 years old, have never healed, nor will they ever. Losing a bird, or any pet, is losing a family member. It’s a blur of emotions. The peaceful ignorance in those seconds upon waking before the cruel reality hits and the remembrance of loss gives you that bitter punch to the gut. The stillness of the empty cage. The sadness of the silence. The reassuring comfort of finding a feather left behind. The maddening search of the house for more feathers, as if finding enough of them will somehow allow the bird to be put back together and magically brought back. It is a pain that tears at the fibers of one’s soul.

I have been there. That’s why I feel so badly for Alex’s mom Annika. She is not only dealing with her own grief but with the grief of Alex’s son, Dominic. Birds experience grief when they lose a flock member, just like we do. (If there is any doubt, one only needs to do a Google search on corvid funerals.) I’ve watched my own birds go through this process. They look for and call to fallen flock members. It is heartbreaking and only deepens one’s own grief, but it is so important to be there for the bird left behind. It is a delicate balance to tend to one’s own sorrow and to that of the bird. Their love for their flock members should be recognized and respected. It is real.

Alex’s love was real and was on constant display. His loving eyes, his loving honk, his love for Dominic and Annika and his love for life were all evident in his videos. Alex himself was the embodiment of love; a pure and innocent being whose life was spent making people smile, making people laugh and making people happy. His purpose was to love. This is what makes losing him so hard. We are literally losing love. This is why it’s so difficult say good bye. To do so, I must address Alex himself:

Alex, you were such a special soul. You brought joy to so many people, asking nothing in return. All you wanted was to love and to be loved and to share your happiness with the world. Your sweet, gentle spirit lit up my darkest moments. To lift my sorrow, all I had to do was watch you and Dominic running around, honking and singing, loving each other and doing all the wonderful things little birds do. When I was lost, you gave me hope. But now a bright light in the world has dimmed. My heart breaks for your mum Annika but I have to thank her for sharing you with the world. I wish she knew how many people the both of you touched and how many lives you illuminated. You were very lucky to have her and to have such a warm, loving home. I hope she and Dominic are able to find peace in each other’s love, in your memory, and in knowing how much you loved them both. I hope you know how much you were loved, by them and by the rest of us. And most of all, I hope you found your dear Tina waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge.

Fly high, little one. You will be dearly missed.

Photo Annika Howell